Faith Stories: Why Lord?
Why Lord? Why your faithful servant? WHY??
Many know my husband and his battle with ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease). The battle began over two years ago with a definitive diagnosis. That three letter word became my go-to “argument” with God. Why Jere? Why this faithful servant? Why this loving man? Why this devoted missionary to Cuba? Why this second-to-none Sunday School teacher? Why, why, WHY!?!?!
As time moved on from the diagnosis, I gradually – and oh so gradually – began to sense that there was an answer to “why,” but I could not put my finger on it. Jere had such a peace, such an intentional approach, so strong, so pragmatic, so concerned for his family, for me. I began to wonder if I could take on a battle like this with such courage and resolve. I doubted that I could. Certainly there were many ups and downs along the journey. I have likened it to a dance. We moved together, but the rhythm and the type of dance morphed along the way and I had to learn how to follow my partner, follow his lead. Trust me, there was many a time that we were not in sync, but mostly we danced… together.
As time went on, which now seems like only a second, the battle raged on, and it was pretty evident that the ALS would win out and on October 10, 2015, it did. It has only been in the past few months that my argument with God was settled. Of course He won! The answer was clear as a bell. Looking back, I think I knew the answer all along. Jere was a Christian witness in the way he lived his life, in the way he battled with a horrific disease and yes, even the way he evangelized on his death bed. His legacy to me, to many and perhaps to you, was his steadfast love of God, his unwavering trust in the promises of the cross and his commitment to serve others. “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’ and ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” Luke 10:27
Yes, our dance ended; the music stopped; but now I keep hearing…
“Dance, then, wherever you may be;
I am the Lord of the dance, said he
And I’ll lead you on wherever you may be,
And I’ll lead you all in the dance, said he.”(United Methodist Hymnal #261)
So, no longer do I ask the question “Why?” but rather, “Lord, increase my faith and please lead me on in the dance.”