Last year I was eager to pick my “Star Word” from the wall of St. John’s. I was expecting to get a word like “joy.” However, what I got was “cleansing.” I remember looking up and saying, “Really Jesus? Do I need a bath?” Cleansing was not the word I would have willingly picked for myself, but apparently it’s what God felt I needed. So I began to pray these words, “Lord Jesus, cleanse me.”
I’m a member of St. John’s Writers’ Group, and Mari suggested that we write about our “Star Words.” The first thing I wrote was an acrostic poem. Then I wrote two more poems, which are more like prayers. I continued to pray, hoping that God would reveal what I needed to have cleansed.
In August, the first day of school arrived and I started to realize that I was feeling some type of way about a coworker. I did my absolute best to avoid her, because she was getting on my nerves. The student I work with even noticed.
“Miss Dickson, you don’t like her,” she said.
“Why would you say that?” I asked her.
“Because you roll your eyes every time you see her,” she said laughing.
I felt so bad. Did I roll my eyes every time I saw that woman? I began to pray and ask God to help me let go of my dislike for her. God works in mysterious ways is an understatement. In December of 2020, right before Christmas break there was an incident with this same coworker, and I was furious with her. I needed to forgive her. I needed CLEANSING. I was determined not to let what she did to me bother me, but deep down it did. I forgave her and I now have no problem talking to her. I even stopped avoiding her. God knows what we need even when we can’t see it. God spoke to me from one little “Star Word.” That’s what I call amazing grace.
Lord I need you to cleanse me
Cleanse the worry from my mind
Cleanse the hate from my heart
Cleanse the anxiety from my soul
Cleanse me Lord and put your Holy Spirit in me
Restore peace in my mind
Restore love in my heart
Restore tranquility in my soul
Cleanse me oh Lord God from anything that keeps me from you
L. Darlene Dickson