Wednesday, March 9
God Prepares Us
“For I know the plans I have for you” – this is the LORD’S declaration – “plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. You will call to Me and come and pray to Me, and I will answer you. You will seek Me and find me when you search for Me with all of your heart. —Jeremiah 29: 11-13 (CSB)
There is a song by Daryl Coley called “He’s Preparing Me.” The words simply say: “He’s preparing me for something I cannot handle right now. He’s making me ready just because He cares. He’s providing me with what I need to carry out the next matter in my life.” When I look at my son Devin, I see how God had prepared me to be the mother of a child with autism. How, you might ask?
I worked as a substitute teacher for years in the East Baton Rouge Parish School System. The majority of the time I worked in Special Education Classes. One particular class had children on the autism spectrum. Administration had a hard time getting a substitute teacher for them mainly because the kids didn’t adjust well to change. Plus, substitutes refused to come back because of the behavior problems. However, for some reason the kids and I got along great together.
I learned how to deal with meltdowns as well as how to prevent them. I took the time to learn their daily routine and I did my best not to waver from it. I even learned each child’s quirks, likes and dislikes. If their teacher was out and I was there, the principal would pull me from whatever class I was assigned to and put me with my little friends.
My son Devin was born in November 2004. I knew from the day we brought him home from the hospital this child would be a challenge. He screamed from the time we put him in the car seat until we took him out of it. As a matter of fact, this happened every single time we put him in it. I dreaded having to go anywhere with that child.
As time went on I started noticing little things about Devin that scared me. They were things that reminded me of my little friends: (1) He loved the ceiling fan and anything that spun. (2) He didn’t play with toys; he’d just line them up in neat rows according to shape, size and color. (3) He had meltdowns if you took him out of the bathtub, turned the ceiling fan off, or for any number of strange reasons. Once he was playing with a yellow balloon, but the balloon fell into the neighbor’s yard. They weren’t home, so I told Devin I had a whole bag of yellow balloons. He wasn’t having it. My baby boy had a meltdown that lasted over three hours because he wanted the balloon that fell in the yard next door.
I would look up autism on the internet. Signs of autism: Do not look at you. (Look at me Devin!) Does not smile, (Not my kid, he smiles.) Lines toys up in neat rows. (Aww, what do they know!) I was living in the land of Egypt sitting by the Nile River! I could see the signs clear as day, but I refused to accept them. Devin’s doctor referred us to have his hearing screened, and I was told his hearing was excellent but he had “red flags.”
“Excuse me Mrs. Dickson, but does Devin always flap his hands?” she asked.
“Why yes he does. We call it “the Devin” – it’s his little dance.” I smile.
“I see,” checking off a box on her clipboard.
Red flags are signs of autism, but of course I wasn’t hearing that. Besides, what did she know? She wasn’t a doctor. The words “signs of autism” kept swirling around my head. I decided to shut them all up, so I asked our doctor for a neurology referral. I was determined to prove them all wrong.
The day we went to the neurologist was a Thursday, and on Thursdays Devin saw his speech therapist, Miss Courtney, at Charlie Thomas Head Start Center. That was a big mistake. He screamed the whole ride to the doctor’s office, as I got him out of the van and carried him into the building, while we waited in the waiting area, and when it was time to see the doctor. I looked at her and apologized while explaining. She smiled and reassured me. She asked many questions, and I did my best to answer. To make a long story short, my beautiful boy has autism. It was a hard pill to swallow as I drove home in tears.
God is so awesome because even though it was hard to accept, He prepared me for Devin. Devin has exceeded all my expectations. As a seventeen-year-old young man with autism he has dreams and aspirations of his own. Yes, he still loves ceiling fans, but he’s turning that love into a career. He wants to be an electrician. God had a plan for me, and he has a plan for Devin. My dear friends, God has a plan for each of you, too. The road may be rough but God is preparing the way.
Dear God, you have a plan for each and every one of us. Help us to trust you even when times are hard. Thank you for giving us hope and a future. In Jesus name, amen.
L. Darlene Dickson